This is it, my summer testimony.
Coming into project, I was told, “Katie, you are going to need a week to process all the things God will do in your life, I mean it, He will bring up things that you need to deal with that you didn’t even know were problems. He is going to do big things.”
So, taking that into consideration, I knew God was going to do big things in my life, I knew He was going to use this project to change my life, so I was ready.
Psych. There is no way I could’ve been even remotely ready for what God had in store for me.
Within the first two weeks on project, I was overwhelmingly convicted about my desire to please other people before I wanted to please God. I felt like I had fallen into the depths of a sin I couldn’t get out of. Everyone wants to be liked, everyone wants to be popular and valued and treated well by others. The problem comes in when we want to please others and when we want to be valued by others more than we want to please and see our value in God. I was putting my value and worth into my roommates and other people on project and I was being let down. Then, in a moment of pure love, my roommate spoke a truth to me that I will never forget. They were telling me that I am not defined by my sin and that my identity lies in Christ. “Katie, don’t you dare think we are mad at you right now, don’t you dare think that because it is not true. We love you and God loves you, we were put into each others’ lives for a reason.” I was overwhelmed. In that moment, it was made clear to me that no matter what I did or have done, I was loved, not only by God, but by those around me, by my brothers and sisters in Christ.
As weeks progressed more and more sin had been revealed; pride, lust, selfishness, jealousy, apathy, resentment, anger and so on. All this sin led me into a period of doubt and questioning. How could God love me? Why did He choose me? Did He choose me? Was there even a God? Why is this happening? Why do I feel this way? I was knee-deep in a period of doubt and confusion, not knowing which way was up or how to get out of it… then it hit me. I have been focusing on the fruit of my sin, when the real problem was the root. I was focusing on each individual sin instead of the root cause. The reason I needed to please people and felt the need to be liked by them, the reason I was putting my worth in people instead of in Christ and the reason I was envious of others’ relationships and others’ lives, testimonies and journeys was because I wasn’t fully trusting God. I wasn’t trusting His plan for my life, and I was wanting what others had. This was leading to all these sins because I was focusing on what others’ had instead of focusing on God. That was the root of my sin, TRUST. I didn’t fully trust God. And that thought was terrifying. How could I claim to follow a God I didn’t trust?
This new truth threw me even deeper into level of doubt; I felt so lost, so confused and full of all kinds of doubt, my once knee-deep doubt was now surrounding me like a flood. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn, how to respond, I was stuck, so stuck.
At the beginning of the summer, knowing I had a control problem I asked the Lord to take away my control and He was doing just that, He was taking away my control and making me trust Him.
If these thoughts of doubt weren’t enough to fog my thinking, another curve ball came my way. The movement on the campus I was assigned to, the movement on the campus I was leading, the movement on the campus that was thriving with spiritual conversations and outreaches, the movement towards a bible study and English club on that campus was stopped dead in its tracks. We received an email from campus administration reminding us that unless we were accompanied by a student we were not allowed in buildings and we were not allowed to solicit students, which means pamphlets, fliers and other things were not allowed to go out and students were not allowed to be approached inside campus buildings. I was absolutely floored. What? How could this be? Things were going so well, why God why? I was so angry, I was so confused, I didn’t understand. I came to Chicago for two reasons: grow in my faith with the Lord and serve Him by sharing His Gospel, and I felt as if both were ripped away from me. Why did I come here? I certainly didn’t feel like I was growing, I was in the middle of the worst doubt I had ever experienced and now the ministry I was apart of, the one that was thriving was now stunted. I felt so defeated, so hurt, so angry, I didn’t see any reason for this to happen, I felt useless. And then I was hit again. While walking back from a Sunday night hangout my co-leader said to me, “You know when you are playing a game and the guys playing only think about 2 or 3 steps ahead, but the girls think like 10 steps ahead? Well, right now you are only thinking 2 or 3 steps ahead, God is thinking 10 steps ahead, He knows what is going to happen, its in His hands, He’s got this, you just need to trust Him.”
TRUST. There is was again, it felt like a slap in the face. I had no clue how deep this sin went and the Lord was slowing showing me how deeply rooted this sin was in my heart. I didn’t trust Him.
The cool thing about God is that once He reveals sin, He reveals Himself and therefore the solution to the sin. When God reveals sin in our lives, it is to pull us closer to Him, to refine us like precious gold that is tested in fire and purified by the flames, He does it because he loves us and wants us to be purified. That is exactly what was happening, I was being tested in fire and refined. I asked God to take away my control, He was. He was making me trust Him because once my control and power was taken away I had nothing left to fall back on; my own strength was gone and the things I put value in were ripped away from me. If I wanted to get out of this stage of doubt and press forward with the Lord I needed to trust Him, so I opened my very clenched fists and gave up, I cried out to the Lord, “OK, Lord I have no clue what you have in store for me, but I open my hands to you, I throw out my plans and I TRUST what you have for me.”
God puts us through trials to teach us something, and while we are screaming and crying out God to help us and fix things He is softly saying, “I need you to trust me, I need you to trust me, trust me, trust me.”
Once I opened my hands and allowed God in… Things began to change. I started to really see who my God is and I started to see a God I could trust. Things started to change.
Things on campus started to become centered on God. We started focusing whole heartily on intentionally praying for the campus and praying for God to move and use us. After the email we were confined to sharing only outside and the heat was rising to unbearable heights. More and more conversations started to happen despite the heat, people still came to our outreaches even though no fliers or signs were posted. God was moving on campus and showing me that even though we faced a roadblock, He is bigger than anything anyone could lay in front of us and He would get us over the roadblock as long as we focused whole-heartily on Him. That’s the catch, God rewards our faithfulness and when we trust in Him fully and focus only on Him, He can move mountains. He is faithful.
God started to show me things in my own life as well.
1 Timothy 4:4
“Everything that God has created is good; nothing is to be rejected, but everything is to be received with a prayer of thanks.”
Hebrews 10:23
“Let us hold on firmly to the hope we profess, because we can TRUST God to keep His promises.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“But His answer was: My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak. I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses in order to feel the protection of Christ’s power over me. I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
He was showing me why I could trust Him and He was softening my heart to conquer the fear of trusting Him.
I am by no means at the end of my journey. I have by no means got to the point where I can blindly trust the Lord in every situation. I still doubt, I still question, I still have my stubborn moments of faithlessness and self-will, but as long as I keep my hands open to the Lord’s plan and trust what He has in store, I am taking a step in the right direction.
I can honestly say, it is worth it, this God is worth trusting because He is faithful and He rewards faith and trust in Him. When I stopped living by my agenda, controlling my life to look like how I wanted it to look and opened my heart to what God had in store for me, He moved. He used me, as broken as I am for His purpose, to further His kingdom and to glorify Him. When we stop living with clenched fists, protective of our plans and ready to fight for what we want and think we deserve and open our hands letting go of our desires to accept what God has planned and willingly trusting what He has in store for us, whatever that means, He rewards us with a life that is good and glorifying to Him, which is our purpose in this life.
I didn’t see it at first, I didn’t why I had to whole heartily trust this God, why I had to be completely focused on Him, why I had to have my eyes fixed on Him. I know now that it is because He wants to pour His blessings down on us, He wants to give us that good life, that plan He has for us and He can only give that to us when we are completely devoted to Him.
Coming on project was a big decision, a huge sacrifice and extremely difficult at times, but on project my life was changed. My life was flipped upside down and shaken, but because I serve an unshakeable God who wants to be close to me, I can trust in whatever He has in store for me, why? Because my God is greater, stronger, better than anything I could ever hope, wish, plan or want for myself and my life. He is bigger than any issue, hardship problem or pain, I can trust Him.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Week 9
Let’s talk about how big God is. During discipleship, this analogy hit me.
Water.
Water is everywhere. Our world is 75% water, our bodies are 90% water, and every animal and living thing needs it to survive. Water is a vital part of our everyday life, we need it.
John 4:13-14
“Jesus answered, “Those who drink this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water that I will give them will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give them will become in them a spring which will provide them with life-giving water and give them eternal life.”
Water is a common theme in the Christian church; we use it for baptism to symbolize death and resurrection in Christ. In the Catholic Church, holy water is used in every mass. Jesus is known as the living water, the water that came to us.
So if we think about that for a minute, Jesus as water, we can apply that to our already established picture. Water is everywhere and we need it to survive, if Jesus is water than not only is He everywhere in our world but we need Him to survive. Water has a hand in everything that we make, in everything that we eat. Think about it, every Barbie doll is made of plastic and plastic has water in it, every food item has “water” on the ingredient list. It is in everything. Now, I am not saying Jesus is in everything, He isn’t. He isn’t physically in a Barbie doll and He isn’t the prize inside your Captain Crunch box, but He created everything, He has a hand in everything. See where I’m going with this? Water is a part of everything in our world and if Jesus is the living water, than He is too.
So to continue this analogy, lets talk about surviving without water. Doctors say you need 8-10 glasses of water a day; you can only survive about 2-3 days without it. Jesus says, with this water that only I can give you will have eternal life. So Jesus is the only way to have life. Eventually, our bodies will die, our basic life functions will cease to work and we will all be buried in the ground someday, this is nothing new we know this, but what Jesus is saying is that if we believe in Him, He will give us this water and we will live forever. If we believe in Him Jesus will supply us with the only water that can sustain us for eternity. Its simple, Jesus is water, without water we die. Without Jesus we die.
Another thing? We get dehydrated when we don’t have enough water. Jesus says that if we believe in Him we will never go thirsty, He will constantly fill us, hydrate us, if you will with His word, His love and His grace. Since we live in a broken world, a world that drains us, we constantly get dehydrated; we get worn down and worn out by the things of this world, the hardships, the challenges and the mistakes. So not only does He provide life, He fills us when the world dehydrates us.
Then I was hit with another thing, water is inside us. So not only does Jesus have a hand in everything in our world and not only does he sustain life, but he is in us. Now this may sound creepy like there is this bearded man living inside us, but that’s not what I mean. When we put our faith in Jesus, He doesn’t leave us to live in this broken world by ourselves, He gives us a helper to help us go the right way, to help us fight off temptation and not give into sin, He gives us His Spirit.
So if we continue on this theme, water is in everything and has a part in the creation of all things, God has a hand in everything, He controls everything in this world. Jesus is the water that continually sustains us, if we believe in it we will never go thirsty and we will never die. And His Spirit is the water that lives in us that performs basic functions.
That is nuts. Think about that. That is my God, a God above, in, around, and in control of everything; God is so big, so massive that I can’t even wrap my mind around how big He is. Think about water and think about its power. Water made the Grand Canyon! Water has been found on other planets! Whoa! So not only is God in, around, in control of everything, but He is in complete control, He has total power. That blows my mind.
Water.
That describes my God. A God who gives me life, who not only sustains my life by performing basic functions but guides me in this life towards Him. A God who is so powerful and so mighty it sometimes scares me. That is my God.
My God is in me, my God fills me, my God is in control, my God is all around me.
Water.
Water is everywhere. Our world is 75% water, our bodies are 90% water, and every animal and living thing needs it to survive. Water is a vital part of our everyday life, we need it.
John 4:13-14
“Jesus answered, “Those who drink this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water that I will give them will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give them will become in them a spring which will provide them with life-giving water and give them eternal life.”
Water is a common theme in the Christian church; we use it for baptism to symbolize death and resurrection in Christ. In the Catholic Church, holy water is used in every mass. Jesus is known as the living water, the water that came to us.
So if we think about that for a minute, Jesus as water, we can apply that to our already established picture. Water is everywhere and we need it to survive, if Jesus is water than not only is He everywhere in our world but we need Him to survive. Water has a hand in everything that we make, in everything that we eat. Think about it, every Barbie doll is made of plastic and plastic has water in it, every food item has “water” on the ingredient list. It is in everything. Now, I am not saying Jesus is in everything, He isn’t. He isn’t physically in a Barbie doll and He isn’t the prize inside your Captain Crunch box, but He created everything, He has a hand in everything. See where I’m going with this? Water is a part of everything in our world and if Jesus is the living water, than He is too.
So to continue this analogy, lets talk about surviving without water. Doctors say you need 8-10 glasses of water a day; you can only survive about 2-3 days without it. Jesus says, with this water that only I can give you will have eternal life. So Jesus is the only way to have life. Eventually, our bodies will die, our basic life functions will cease to work and we will all be buried in the ground someday, this is nothing new we know this, but what Jesus is saying is that if we believe in Him, He will give us this water and we will live forever. If we believe in Him Jesus will supply us with the only water that can sustain us for eternity. Its simple, Jesus is water, without water we die. Without Jesus we die.
Another thing? We get dehydrated when we don’t have enough water. Jesus says that if we believe in Him we will never go thirsty, He will constantly fill us, hydrate us, if you will with His word, His love and His grace. Since we live in a broken world, a world that drains us, we constantly get dehydrated; we get worn down and worn out by the things of this world, the hardships, the challenges and the mistakes. So not only does He provide life, He fills us when the world dehydrates us.
Then I was hit with another thing, water is inside us. So not only does Jesus have a hand in everything in our world and not only does he sustain life, but he is in us. Now this may sound creepy like there is this bearded man living inside us, but that’s not what I mean. When we put our faith in Jesus, He doesn’t leave us to live in this broken world by ourselves, He gives us a helper to help us go the right way, to help us fight off temptation and not give into sin, He gives us His Spirit.
So if we continue on this theme, water is in everything and has a part in the creation of all things, God has a hand in everything, He controls everything in this world. Jesus is the water that continually sustains us, if we believe in it we will never go thirsty and we will never die. And His Spirit is the water that lives in us that performs basic functions.
That is nuts. Think about that. That is my God, a God above, in, around, and in control of everything; God is so big, so massive that I can’t even wrap my mind around how big He is. Think about water and think about its power. Water made the Grand Canyon! Water has been found on other planets! Whoa! So not only is God in, around, in control of everything, but He is in complete control, He has total power. That blows my mind.
Water.
That describes my God. A God who gives me life, who not only sustains my life by performing basic functions but guides me in this life towards Him. A God who is so powerful and so mighty it sometimes scares me. That is my God.
My God is in me, my God fills me, my God is in control, my God is all around me.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Matthew 3:11-17
Matthew 3:11-17
“I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire. Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Baptism: a public declaration of an inner decision.
For the past couple of weeks Willow Creek Chicago, the church we attend in the city, has been talking about baptism. There has been announcements about the baptism service, classes to attend if you were interested and invitations to those who haven't been baptized, but have a relationship with Jesus. To be honest, I was baptized last October at MSU and I hadn't thought much about it.
Last week, Jon, the pastor at Willow, mentioned the service next week saying it was a baptism service and that anyone was invited to come and be baptized as a public declaration of their relationship with Jesus even if they had never attended a class or went to a meeting. I knew some people from project were thinking about it and some had gone to classes and some had made a decision to be baptized this Sunday, today. Beyond that I hadn't thought much about it, I was so happy for the 4 people from our project getting baptized and I was excited I could experience it from the stage where I would be interpreting for Rebekah, the deaf girl who attends church, but that was about it.
God, however, had a much bigger plan.
Things started out normally, I went to church, went to a production meeting and got ready for service to start. The service went as planned, worship, video, message... then something I had been waiting for all summer happened.
The message this week was of course about baptism and Jon used this passage, Matthew 3:11-17. Usually, since she is 13, Rebekah doesn't understand the message as it is spoken, so I have to stop and clarify some things, she usually says she understands and we continue. Today, Jon was talking about why Jesus had to be baptized and what happened after Jesus was baptized by John the baptist, I asked her if she understood and she said no so I stopped to clarify that after Jesus was baptized He was sent to the desert to be tempted by the devil for 40 days without food and water. She asked me why, why did he have to go to the desert? I told her because he had to experience temptation and sin. She asked why. This led to me explaining her why Jesus came to the world, why He died on the cross and what that meant. He came for us, He came to give us eternal life and to be with us forever, and by Jesus, who is perfect, taking our sin and dying on the cross for it, He took the death we deserve and gave us life. By Jesus taking our sin, He made us perfect. He did all this because He loves us and wanted to have a personal relationship with us, He wants to be with us forever. I got to share the Gospel with her, in ASL. As some of you know by reading my other posts, I have wanted to share the Gospel with her and with other deaf people, but was terrified and felt completely unable to, like I didn't have enough skills and couldn't get through it in ASL. Well, God used me today and gave me the opportunity to share the Gospel with Rebekah, in her first language, in a way she understood.
I was completely OK with that. Overjoyed at that. But, God, like I said had a much bigger plan.
After the message, Jon invited those who were getting baptized to come up on stage and then worship started again. Jon mentioned one more time that even if you have never gone to a class or attended a meeting on baptism, but felt called to get baptized, you were welcome to come up on stage. Willow had clothes to get baptized in and wanted anyone who wanted to get baptized to come up and declare that they loved Jesus and wanted to get baptized.
So worship started and out of the corner of my eye I see 2 women that I am on project with start to cry uncontrollably. I look behind me and see my roommate walk on stage to join the 4 that had decided to get baptized. Then, 2 more, and 2 more and 3 more and 3 more and 1 other person and some more. In total, 20 people from project were on stage changed and ready to be baptized. 20 of my brothers and sisters in Christ were publicly declaring their love for the Lord and that they were changed because of their relationship with Jesus.
I was overwhelmed, I could barely sign. I was in shock. But like I said, God had a bigger plan, even still.
Rebekah had been thinking about baptism and during the service today was questioning whether or not she should go up. Her mom told her that it was her decision and she would know if it was right. Next thing I knew Rebekah was handing her mom her hearing aids and heading up on stage. Her mom looked at me and told me to follow her and help her.
I walked on stage and helped her find clothes and find the changing room. Next thing I new she was in the tub and Jon called her mom up to help. Rebekah said she loved Jesus, knew she had a relationship with Him and knew that He loved her and wanted to be baptized. She was dunked under the water and when she came out the entire church was applauding, in ASL.
It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
I still haven't comprehended all that happened, I still haven't taken it all in.
What an amazing experience. God used me, not only to share His love, but to help Rebekah declare her love for Him. Wow.
God was moving in that place.
Not only did 20 of my friends get baptized in one of the most beautiful way I have ever seen, but a girl who I met 5 weeks ago was baptized with my help because of God's gift. She was baptized by water and the Spirit and in ASL, her first language, the way God made her.
God is bigger than any of us can imagine. God is more beautiful than any of us can imagine. God is AMAZING!
That was probably one of the most incredible experiences of my life, something I hope to never forget, something that showed God's love, God's power and His beauty.
Wow. I am still in awe of God and His power to change lives.
“I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire. Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Baptism: a public declaration of an inner decision.
For the past couple of weeks Willow Creek Chicago, the church we attend in the city, has been talking about baptism. There has been announcements about the baptism service, classes to attend if you were interested and invitations to those who haven't been baptized, but have a relationship with Jesus. To be honest, I was baptized last October at MSU and I hadn't thought much about it.
Last week, Jon, the pastor at Willow, mentioned the service next week saying it was a baptism service and that anyone was invited to come and be baptized as a public declaration of their relationship with Jesus even if they had never attended a class or went to a meeting. I knew some people from project were thinking about it and some had gone to classes and some had made a decision to be baptized this Sunday, today. Beyond that I hadn't thought much about it, I was so happy for the 4 people from our project getting baptized and I was excited I could experience it from the stage where I would be interpreting for Rebekah, the deaf girl who attends church, but that was about it.
God, however, had a much bigger plan.
Things started out normally, I went to church, went to a production meeting and got ready for service to start. The service went as planned, worship, video, message... then something I had been waiting for all summer happened.
The message this week was of course about baptism and Jon used this passage, Matthew 3:11-17. Usually, since she is 13, Rebekah doesn't understand the message as it is spoken, so I have to stop and clarify some things, she usually says she understands and we continue. Today, Jon was talking about why Jesus had to be baptized and what happened after Jesus was baptized by John the baptist, I asked her if she understood and she said no so I stopped to clarify that after Jesus was baptized He was sent to the desert to be tempted by the devil for 40 days without food and water. She asked me why, why did he have to go to the desert? I told her because he had to experience temptation and sin. She asked why. This led to me explaining her why Jesus came to the world, why He died on the cross and what that meant. He came for us, He came to give us eternal life and to be with us forever, and by Jesus, who is perfect, taking our sin and dying on the cross for it, He took the death we deserve and gave us life. By Jesus taking our sin, He made us perfect. He did all this because He loves us and wanted to have a personal relationship with us, He wants to be with us forever. I got to share the Gospel with her, in ASL. As some of you know by reading my other posts, I have wanted to share the Gospel with her and with other deaf people, but was terrified and felt completely unable to, like I didn't have enough skills and couldn't get through it in ASL. Well, God used me today and gave me the opportunity to share the Gospel with Rebekah, in her first language, in a way she understood.
I was completely OK with that. Overjoyed at that. But, God, like I said had a much bigger plan.
After the message, Jon invited those who were getting baptized to come up on stage and then worship started again. Jon mentioned one more time that even if you have never gone to a class or attended a meeting on baptism, but felt called to get baptized, you were welcome to come up on stage. Willow had clothes to get baptized in and wanted anyone who wanted to get baptized to come up and declare that they loved Jesus and wanted to get baptized.
So worship started and out of the corner of my eye I see 2 women that I am on project with start to cry uncontrollably. I look behind me and see my roommate walk on stage to join the 4 that had decided to get baptized. Then, 2 more, and 2 more and 3 more and 3 more and 1 other person and some more. In total, 20 people from project were on stage changed and ready to be baptized. 20 of my brothers and sisters in Christ were publicly declaring their love for the Lord and that they were changed because of their relationship with Jesus.
I was overwhelmed, I could barely sign. I was in shock. But like I said, God had a bigger plan, even still.
Rebekah had been thinking about baptism and during the service today was questioning whether or not she should go up. Her mom told her that it was her decision and she would know if it was right. Next thing I knew Rebekah was handing her mom her hearing aids and heading up on stage. Her mom looked at me and told me to follow her and help her.
I walked on stage and helped her find clothes and find the changing room. Next thing I new she was in the tub and Jon called her mom up to help. Rebekah said she loved Jesus, knew she had a relationship with Him and knew that He loved her and wanted to be baptized. She was dunked under the water and when she came out the entire church was applauding, in ASL.
It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
I still haven't comprehended all that happened, I still haven't taken it all in.
What an amazing experience. God used me, not only to share His love, but to help Rebekah declare her love for Him. Wow.
God was moving in that place.
Not only did 20 of my friends get baptized in one of the most beautiful way I have ever seen, but a girl who I met 5 weeks ago was baptized with my help because of God's gift. She was baptized by water and the Spirit and in ASL, her first language, the way God made her.
God is bigger than any of us can imagine. God is more beautiful than any of us can imagine. God is AMAZING!
That was probably one of the most incredible experiences of my life, something I hope to never forget, something that showed God's love, God's power and His beauty.
Wow. I am still in awe of God and His power to change lives.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Week 8
So, the Lord is faithful.
Don't believe me? Listen to this.
On Monday, we have Impact Team meetings. Impact Team consists of a girl's bible study and a boy's bible study, and as a team we go onto the same campus in the city and share the Gospel.
Recently, we have been told that going into buildings and distributing items to students is considered soliciting and is not permitted on our campus. This development, for me, was a hard one to take. I was so angry with God. Why would He take this away? Why would He want us to struggle? Why? Why God why are you doing this? Well, here's why. I wasn't pursuing God. I know that sounds absurd, but its true. I wanted to start a bible study for me, for my glory; I wanted an english club because it would look good and that selfish, me first attitude isn't pleasing to God, so He stopped me in my tracks and took away my control. As stated many times before, I love control, I lack trust in God and God has been slowing breaking me of that. This recent event, was a hard pill for me to swallow because God took away my control and was forcing me to trust Him.
So due to this recent change in our ability to share on our campus, morale on our team had been low because we have to share outside and in 100 degree weather, and that is not fun. So morale was low, spirits were weak and things were looking bleak.
In an effort to try and lift spirits, we decided to make a list of intentions for the week; things we as a group or as individuals wanted to be held accountable for on campus that week. Things like getting into 4 Gospel conversations, or having conversations at work, etc. So we made a list of about 20 things, trusting the Lord and depending on His faithfulness.
Well, our God is faithful.
By Monday, God gave us a staff member on campus who is a Christian and wants to help us, God gave us a breakthrough in doing outreach by leading us to the person in charge of outreach for our organization, God had given Rachel 6 conversations with students and 6 opportunities to share the Gospel, God had given Tyler opportunities to share the Gospel, God was faithful!
By the end of the week, about 7 things on our list had been done.
I was wondering why God took away our ability to share on campus, I was questioning God and His goodness and He showed me His faithfulness, He showed me His goodness and He showed me that when He is in control and when I trust Him, things happen. Nuts. That is nuts. The God of the universe, chose to be faithful to me and to our Impact Team and to show me what happend when I trust Him.
I was questioning and God answered my questions.
God is so good and faithful.
Don't believe me? Listen to this.
On Monday, we have Impact Team meetings. Impact Team consists of a girl's bible study and a boy's bible study, and as a team we go onto the same campus in the city and share the Gospel.
Recently, we have been told that going into buildings and distributing items to students is considered soliciting and is not permitted on our campus. This development, for me, was a hard one to take. I was so angry with God. Why would He take this away? Why would He want us to struggle? Why? Why God why are you doing this? Well, here's why. I wasn't pursuing God. I know that sounds absurd, but its true. I wanted to start a bible study for me, for my glory; I wanted an english club because it would look good and that selfish, me first attitude isn't pleasing to God, so He stopped me in my tracks and took away my control. As stated many times before, I love control, I lack trust in God and God has been slowing breaking me of that. This recent event, was a hard pill for me to swallow because God took away my control and was forcing me to trust Him.
So due to this recent change in our ability to share on our campus, morale on our team had been low because we have to share outside and in 100 degree weather, and that is not fun. So morale was low, spirits were weak and things were looking bleak.
In an effort to try and lift spirits, we decided to make a list of intentions for the week; things we as a group or as individuals wanted to be held accountable for on campus that week. Things like getting into 4 Gospel conversations, or having conversations at work, etc. So we made a list of about 20 things, trusting the Lord and depending on His faithfulness.
Well, our God is faithful.
By Monday, God gave us a staff member on campus who is a Christian and wants to help us, God gave us a breakthrough in doing outreach by leading us to the person in charge of outreach for our organization, God had given Rachel 6 conversations with students and 6 opportunities to share the Gospel, God had given Tyler opportunities to share the Gospel, God was faithful!
By the end of the week, about 7 things on our list had been done.
I was wondering why God took away our ability to share on campus, I was questioning God and His goodness and He showed me His faithfulness, He showed me His goodness and He showed me that when He is in control and when I trust Him, things happen. Nuts. That is nuts. The God of the universe, chose to be faithful to me and to our Impact Team and to show me what happend when I trust Him.
I was questioning and God answered my questions.
God is so good and faithful.
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