Week 4

So let me take you back a week.
Last Sunday, we went out to the "Taste of Chicago" to share the Gospel and talk to people about their beliefs.
While waiting to leave the apartment building Rachel turns to me and says, "wouldn't it be great if you could share the Gospel with someone who is deaf, that way you could use ASL!"
I flipped, that thought terrified me. I couldn't do that, there is no way I am skilled enough for that! I would mess it up, what if I forgot a word and mislead them?! These thoughts continued and honestly stuck with me that entire day, even though I didn't actually get to share with anyone who was deaf.
I've been thinking about it since, I have this gift. The Lord has blessed me with this skill and a heart for the Deaf community and for American Sign Language, so why did I freak out when faced with the possibility of using it? It makes no sense, I should rejoice in God's gifts and use them to further His kingdom and bring Him glory. Not freak out and run from what he may have called me to do.
Well God, in His infinite wisdom and power, knew that I was thinking about this and knew that I was troubled with my initial reaction so He gave me another opportunity.
On Monday, Bekah and Adam had seen on the Willow Creek website, the church we attend, that they needed an interpreter for Sunday services. They told me to apply.
Being my usual stubborn self feeling under qualified and not good enough for the position, but wanting to use this gift God had given me, I took a step of faith and emailed the church to told them I was interested.
However, I let them know that I am not a certified interpreter only a student in the training program and if they had a specific individual who needed an interpreter, I was not qualified.
Within the day they emailed me back telling me they only wanted someone to sign for the general public and that they would love to have me help.
Praise God!
I am finally using this gift for Him!
I will be signing the services at Willow Creek from now on!
And you know what, i realized something, even if I mess up or forget a word or fall behind in the service, I am helping those who can't hear understand the service a little better. I am furthering God's kingdom by doing so.
That took me a while to realize and to accept, and I still am trying to accept that.
I could forget every word I know and stand there spelling everything and someone could come to know who God is regardless.
It is out of my control, God is going to use me regardless on Sundays to help those who are hard of hearing. Yes, I realize I need to practice and prepare for Sunday, but when it comes down to it, God is going to use me at that service regardless of my actual abilities.
It is not up to me, I need to come prepared and interpret to the best of my abilities and then leave the rest up to God.
This is something I struggle with, giving that control to God and accepting that regardless of what happens on Earth, God is in control.
I like to plan things and prepare like crazy for them and strive for perfection, but that is totally undermining God's power. He is going to use me how He sees fit whatever way He sees fit, in His timing, for His purpose.
That is something that can never change, and that is something to praise Him for. His constant supervision and control over our lives and this world regardless of our circumstance, ability or perception.